some kid asked me why i liked one direction.
i almost hit him for having to ask me.
Being a fatass on my ragg:
Eatin Popeyes on the way to yogurt land.
Eating yogurt land on the way to jack in the box.
Dream: took @harry_styles to a baseball game after the Brits and he still hadn’t gotten sleep. Told him to rest in my room after the game. Dad sees him in my bed while I’m in the bathroom. Dad yells at harry. harry gets frustrated and leaves KUZ he’s just so tired and just wants to sleep. I try to reason with him and say it’s fine. I’m not trying to sleep with him. he stays to nap. I take pics of him sleeping & make a collage of the entire day at the game too. Upload on Instagram & tags him. He likes it. Girls freak out. And then I get a tweet from a mutual friend of ours saying I’d “have to ask @jonshonekeys about that one”. I don’t get that part. But in the middle of dreaming I hear a fucking ghetto bird outside my window and the police are screaming things through the speaker. How u gon do me like dat sheriff’s dept?! This was intimate.
I wonder how many fan fics contain: “…and then Niall brushes your bottom lip with his braces…”
What if you’re in Zumba class and then outta nowhere harry styles walks in and then next thing you know you’re choosing your save the dates? Oy.
Just realized I have an old hello kitty that looks like Zayn’s bowtie at the Brits.
so you’re saying that One Direction aren’t the Prime Ministers of GB?
i’m going to make some deliveries on my hello kitty bike dressed like cupid.
but i should shower first
my first stop should be my first love**. he’s probably sick of my surprises though. i should tell him that, contrary to what lies his friends have told him and how they (including him) make fun of me, i don’t hate him and i’ve always wished the best for him; that i also don’t love him the way i used to so it’s okay to say hi when we do see each other. that i’m not secretly trying to ruin his life or jump his bones or even obsessing over him. i’m glad he’s happy and i want to let him know i’m fine because i know he cares deep down inside. if there was anything that offended him in the past, must have been lost in translation. i would never hurt you because i valued him more than anything in this world. sometimes even more than my own life. white flag and peace be with your spirit. xo.
my second stop would be all my girlfriends that have made my life a lot more interesting. luckily, most of them live next to all my cousins’ houses. this would make for a fun trip if they were home and not at school. i’d tell them something like ‘HEYYYYY, GOOD MORNING (Y/LN) FAMILY!!!’ from outside their house and then pull out my red envelopes with candy woO! and then we can plan our next days out. :)
my third stop: dropping off the red envelopes to my aunts’ houses. they all need small reminders of love. whether it’s finding a greater definition of what love is or to reevaluate their relationships, they’ve all been so great women to me. i’ve learned from all of them. there are things i admire about their strengths. i see what i want to be and what i don’t want to inherit. thank you for being that vessel of education for me. y’all got that one thing. ;)
whoever can’t get theirs today will get theirs somehow ;)
my fourth stop: my IMB Ohana. days upon days of feeling so worthless without a career to support me, and these people have not treated me differently since the day i walked in. thank you for being so supportive through my very rough 2012 days and offering your guidance in 2013. to my women’s class: i’ve seen your strength increase during conditioning and i feel like we’ve grown thicker skin in the process.there’s not much we can’t handle. thank you for being physically and emotionally strong with me. to the dudes in the back: thanks for being like my older brothers teaching me how to punch effortlessly and kick like a beast. “In order to throw a punch, you must be able to take one too,” that i learned that hard way. Literally a few punches to the head set me straight. thank you. i needed that. thank you for keeping me grounded. “don’t just kick the pad, kick THROUGH it,” that’s how i’ve visualized living. i don’t want to “do”. i want to WOW. being able to do is meh..anyone can do that. WOW-ing, like kicking with more force, will knock people off their feet with an everlasting impression. i need that.
and if my bike could fly i’d visit my friend in New York, who has been with me through it all, and my friend who moved to Jakarta to follow her dreams, find Ed Sheeran to let him know that he’s wowed me, Beyonce (if she’ll let me talk to her) and say she’s so my spirit animal, and then stop by One Direction’s TMH tour rehearsal in England to show them how awesome i am and they’ll realize they need a hello kitty bike flying grrrl as their friend and as Harry’s girlfriend. but it would be weird to give them valentines with their faces on it so i should just take polaroids with them and slip it in their wallets. g’day.
and also, if my bike could fly, i’d visit my neighbor at boot camp. i’d ask him why he even wanted to join the friggin military because i didn’t get a chance to really talk to him before he left. i’d tell him i cried for a week straight when i found out on Christmas Day he enlisted. I’d tell him that the news made Les Miserables a boring movie. i’d tell him thank you for accepting me for who i am and never disrespected me, my friends, nor my family. we had a moment—well, i guess more than a few moments— years, of questioning what was there. or if anything was there to begin with. you’d be so perfect for me. i’ve always thought that about you since we met after we moved in on the same day. how could God set up this perfect coincidence and nothing happen? i don’t get it…unless i understand completely that we simply were not meant. no disrespect, but i’d also ask you why you choose the girlfriends you do. you’re much better than that. or maybe the answer is that THEY choose you and you’re just too nice to not shut them down until they’ve completely used you. :( you’re loads better than that. you’re interesting. you’re athletic. you’re funny when you don’t try to be and Alden and i have narrowed down your voice to that of a stoner’s. you’re annoying sometimes but that’s only in my book when the entire room in vegas is still asleep and your voice is BOOMBOOMPOW at 5 am. #stahpit or annoying when i can predict how your relationship’s gonna end with your psychos and you’re sat there wondering what happened but let them come over still kuz you don’t know how to tell them stay at their own homes. just give me a call. i can take care of them for you. take good care my friend. Xx.
happy Vday y’all.
*angels don’t have wings. they are just pictured that way.
**not *NSYNC, although that would be wicked.